Such A Hard Day

Normally I don’t like putting my family's business out on my blog but I feel the need to talk about this some how to be able to get it off my chest. My oldest brother fell of a ladder last week and broke his left left so badly that he has had 4 surgery's on it since. I got a phone call from my sister today saying my brother was losing the leg and the doctor's were amputating it today! I am so sad and just unsettled by the whole ordeal that I can’t even but it into words. First off I have not heard a word from anyone since last week when he fell, so I thought he was fine. Then I learn today that he has had 4 operations and never left the hospital.. Now he is losing his leg. We have never really been close since there is such a age difference but I still hurt for him and just hope to God that he makes it out of surgery. To tell you the truth me and my sister are worried that he won’t make it after the surgery because he will be so depressed that he won’t be able to deal with it. He has to go into a nursing home after the surgery because his wife can’t take care of him because she is disable.. Its just one big cluster fuck and to tell you the truth I am so happy I have this blog to write it all down on , or I might just lose my mind with it all. I am going to try and keep my self busy with knitting and reading today and see if that will relax me. I thought about a couple drinks but that might just make me cry more and I sure don’t want that. On a good note my other brother who lost his arm at the age of 18 in Vietnam is driving 2 states away to be with our oldest brother to be with him after the surgery and to help him thru some of the symptom's he will be having after the surgery.I wish I could go be with him, but there is no way I can at this point. I feel so helpless and useless. I just have to remember that he will have a good support system around him . If you believe in God I ask that you say a prayer for him, please.